Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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