Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
