party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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