Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
