I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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