There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
