If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm at about main and main street
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
