I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
