There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
what is it with giant penises always finding me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
