just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
