Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
