I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I die, sorry about rent.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
