if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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