Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
