This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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