Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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