even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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