if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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