how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
