You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
