Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
