And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
