Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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