U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
