im drinking this country out of the recession.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
