Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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