If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
