so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
