1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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