also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
