can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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