I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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