My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
