Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
