I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
