she was so not down for the gang bang
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
