Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
