i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you didnt know i had herpes?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
