You smell like stripper and shame
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize