I'm sorry my penis didn't work
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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