hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
