she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
