hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
