He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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