Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
