saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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