If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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