It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize