My room smells like vodka and shame
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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