yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
