its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
