I heard we made out
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When are your genitals available?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
