is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
