OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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