guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
