you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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