He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
