Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
