Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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