I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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