did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
