I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
