i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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