i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
