I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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